A poem for the Moon in Leo

Yesterday a reader of my posts reached out to me to ask me how I’m doing. I haven’t written in a while. The truth is with my 1st House Aries moon I’m a person of passionate phases, and some (like my Whitney Houston phase) last and some (like my Madonna phase) don’t. I can’t rush or fake them. They confuse even me. I was wondering if writing might be another of my phases.

The past month I’ve looked at the daily aspects but haven’t known what to say about them. I couldn’t find my voice. I was hoping that when Neptune stationed direct last week I would be clearer. I wanted to be helpful and productive again.

I sat down yesterday to write something about the moon in Leo, but this came out instead. The current Mercury retrograde began at the same degree as my natal Neptune, and I’m still in a Neptune-y fog. Neptune can represent dreams, images, poetry, water, inspiration, loss, confusion, longing, and oneness with God and all that is.

I don’t know if this is a poem or a reflection. The moon is still in Leo, combining feeling and mystery with the risk of showing and sharing who we really are. Today I am nebulous and in-between, but still wanting to connect and wish you peace.

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Sometimes I don’t water the plants in my office,
even when I know they’re thirsty.
Instead we behold each other,
desolate and parched.

One day could become five or seven.
I might water this plant but not those.
I never know how much company I’ll need in my yellowed, drooping state
or for how long.

The tips of their leaves turn brown
until finally I’m moved to save them
with water and not just what’s left of my tea.
The next day they’re greener, grateful.

Maybe I’m not a lily of the field
but a potted plant
on a dusty sill:
Long- waiting and wilted,
Then, suddenly, saved.

Moon opposite Pluto and the power of projection

Last night I had a dream I was about to play Monica Seles in a tournament match.

In the dream I didn’t have any special abilities. I knew it was ridiculous to go up against Monica Seles. I probably haven’t played tennis since fifth grade. Still I wanted to help her, because she needed this match for her standings. I knew she and I shared a birthday, so I thought, “I guess by playing I can help a fellow Sadge move ahead.” 

I didn’t have much time, so I prepared for the match by buying the right clothes. It might have been more useful to work on my serve or to stretch. I knew she would destroy me on the court. But I at least wanted to look the part. 

Accommodating, helping, sharing. Appearances, the question of an equal match. My dream was filled with Libran themes.

I woke up before I got to the stadium.

Today the moon enters the last quarter phase. Steven Forrest refers to "cathartic theater and the inner journey of the solitary artist" of this phase. In my dream I was about to face a powerful opponent who was sure to win. But she also has my birthday. On some level I was facing myself. 

Jumping in when it's not really appropriate or before I'm really ready to; over- or underestimating myself; deferring so someone else can win. I do these things sometimes, but do I still have to or want to? How often do habit or duty play a role in my decision-making? And what does it really matter what I look like??? 

Throughout this Virgo new moon cycle, the details and tasks that come up and the ways we're recruited to help or serve reveal to us the unfolding self that fits right now. It's a process of adjustment. It takes discernment. We get messages telling us how we’re doing, and we sift through them the best that we can. We weigh them with what we notice, and what feels safe and right for us, too. 

Who have been the major players in your life recently? What have been the major themes? Are there relationship or behavior patterns you've recognized? What have your dreams or intuition been telling you?

If a powerful image or interaction also gets your attention or elicits a strong emotional reaction, it might help to explore it from different angles or talk it through with someone you trust. It could have a helpful message that takes some time and attention to unpack.

Today's Cancer moon represents secure bonds and deep emotional safety needs. Show up for people how you can and when you're ready, but if you're someone who always thinks about other people, maybe give yourself some kindness, care, and love today, too.

Mercury square Saturn: Remember to listen and look

In November of last year a seed was planted. Mercury and Saturn joined at the same degree of Sagittarius. They joined together once more the next month, and finally the next – this time in Capricorn. Since then our mental processing and voice have had to pass through a series of stages toward wisdom, transformation and staying power, but not without grief, setbacks, and a lot of hard work.

How have your thinking and voice matured or left a mark since last November? What external events reflected a need to do so?

Wherever Saturn is going through your birth chart can seem like things are moving too slowly and you have to face too much alone. Today’s square from Mercury in Libra reminds us we have help. It reminds us there’s something we haven’t considered. It reminds us not to get too weighed down.

If we’ve been avoiding the work or letting someone else do it, it’s the reverse: Today is a reality check. Either way, it’s for our own benefit.

I’ve been plodding along but not always remembering the message of risk, reaching, freedom, and truth. That was the original promise. The Capricorn message of careful planning, uphill climbing, and a very long wait – winter – has probably been closer to my mindset. It’s been hard for me to stay hopeful. Today I needed to lighten up, look around, and breathe. The moon and Neptune coming together today help us return to our dream or start a new one.

Saturn in Capricorn is serious business, but growing up can inspire and teach us, too. Remember this process actually started as an arrow and a flame.

Scorpio Moon and the storm

Photo by Ansel Adams

Photo by Ansel Adams

Yesterday I didn’t know what to say about both Venus and the moon in Scorpio opposing Uranus in Taurus. I didn’t want to sound alarmist. There can always be a range of expressions. But many of us were confronted by heavy feelings in the face of something unpredictable or disturbing.

Scorpio brings up issues of control, fear, passion, paranoia. It intensifies feelings in general, even happy ones. But Scorpio energy opposing Uranus in Taurus can be especially intense, raw, shocking and real as we try to find our actual footing and an internal sense of control at the same time, triggered by a complicated relationship or circumstance.  

For me the symbolism played out extremely literally: I participated in a mandatory security training at my school so I’d know what to do if confronted by an active shooter. We huddled under desks while our coworker came at us with a Nerf gun to illustrate how ineffectual the old advice of simply hiding was. It left us like sitting ducks. We learned how to barricade a door and how to counter as a very last resort. The best option, if available – if you know there is enough distance between you and the shooter – is to get away.  

We live in a world where I feel compelled to teach my son this information to keep him safe. And yet a neighbor I just met has dutifully picked Lyndon up from school every day along with her own daughter because I’m not able to. There is unexpected goodness, too.  

This week some of us have been processing deep feelings around trauma we’ve lived through. Others are facing an actual storm.

Today while the Scorpio moon trines Neptune and then Mercury opposes it, strategy and planning mix with the unknown, the uncharted, the fog. And yet in exactly that space we can find inspiration and a good-enough way through.

The invisible comes to light: sun opposite Neptune

Today the sun in Virgo opposes Neptune in Pisces.

Oppositions can symbolize outside forces or what we project onto others and the sun represents our evolving selves. Neptune on some level represents both letting in and letting go.

The other day Lyndon was upset because one step in the video game he was creating wasn’t working. He wanted to give up. I watched Lang ask questions and explore solutions with him. I saw Lyndon reluctantly absorb some positivity and perspective. He went back to his game peppier and more hopeful, and I was relieved, until I saw how depleted Lang had become from the interaction.

Lyndon and I do this: When something goes wrong, we want to throw in the towel. We both have the sun and Neptune joined in our charts, and we start with a perfect dream in our heads. And then we feel doomed and defeated if we hit a snag or a problem. It’s so disappointing and overwhelming that we want to give up the dream completely. What’s the point? Who even cares? We do, and we’re crushed, but when that feeling comes we just want to give up.

And often Lang rides in to help us. So we give him our bad mood, and our litany of complaints, and he helps us break things down into achievable steps. He helps us see the positive. And I don’t know how often, but at least sometimes, we forget to thank him. I’m going on 17 years in this pattern. He loves me and he believes in me, and so he naturally helps and boosts me up. But because he loves me, it takes an emotional toll. How would it feel for both of us if he didn’t always have to help?

We were born to be fluid, but we get stuck in roles: The victim, the savior.

Today we’ll get flooded with images, and they can help us see which side of the coin we might be on in different areas of our life. Try not to let the new knowledge depress you. We can always make adjustments. Today will just open our eyes.

If you’d like, set an intention to rebalance yourself or an important relationship, so you can stop being stuck in one role.

 

Mars and Neptune

Mars stations direct at 10:04 a.m. EDT after two months in retrograde. This morning the Pisces moon joined Neptune.

Neptune is the part of us that follows inspiration and goes with the flow. Neptune doesn’t make plans: It would rather have a drink or a nap or five minutes in a spacey zone. But Neptune is also the part of us that takes on other people’s stuff. Neptune has no boundaries. It lets in everything, and everything becomes us.

While I was writing this morning, I heard Langston typing loudly in the same room and I lost my train of thought. I snapped at him. He snapped back and went upstairs, and I regretted it. That’s Neptune and Mars showing up in our home. I’m trying to enter a spiritual space, but first let me yell at my husband. 

Lang and I apologized to each other, imperfectly, and hours later I'm finishing this piece. Because God has a sense of humor, where I am now is even noisier: Excited chatter fills the hallway; three feet next to me, workers hammer in a new floor. 

It's that kind of day, at least for me, but it's important to me to finish. And so I will -- albeit imperfectly, too.

 

A Way Forward: Venus in Libra

BOB2_MISTAKEBIRD2_SQUARE_345x345.jpg

The prevailing energy in the sky right now is fixed and cardinal. Five planetary bodies are in fixed signs and four are in cardinal signs. Only Neptune is in the mutable sign of Pisces right now, being all flexible and receptive. The rest of the sky is staying the course or breaking new ground.

Of the four cardinal planets right now, three are retrograde, putting some brakes on the acceleration. I love cardinal energy. I love action and newness. I’m good in that space. I’m not as good at simply sticking things out. So I’ve been struggling with all this retrograde and fixed energy. It feels like a big, exhausting hike to nowhere.

So what can we do? If you’re comfortable in the fixed sphere, enjoy. If you like the retrograde energy of introspection and revision, have at it. But if you’ve been itching to get going, Venus can help.

I was in a rut two days ago, bored and depleted. I had been setting my alarm earlier to write before work and sleeping through my alarm instead. What was the point of writing? Who even cared? What did it even accomplish? Lang gave me some perspective: It helped my mood when I wrote. Maybe it helped other people. Maybe just getting my astrology out more would lead to something eventually. But staying in bed and sleeping probably wouldn’t. And I listened to him with an assface, annoyed, because a part of me only knew how to be fixed in my own bad mood for now. But another part of me saw that he was trying to connect and get through to me. And so I begrudgingly asked for his help. I hadn’t been motivated or able to get out of bed early enough on my own to face anything but work. I was rewarding myself with sleep but in the end that only made me sadder. So for the past two days Lang’s made it his mission to wake me up early to write. And that show of support has probably calmed me just as much as writing has. It was just too hard to start alone.

Venus in the cardinal sign of Libra can help you get going if you reach out to someone. There’s something you need to think or talk through for a greater sense of peace. We can’t do Venus work alone unless we’re a Zenlike Ninja artist like Bob Ross. He might have been able to work out Venus and Libra issues alone with his paints. But even he had us to speak to while he was doing it. In that shared space serenity and beauty are born.

And so if you’re feeling stuck or unsettled today, reach out. Pray, call a friend, write an email, but air out some of your troubles so you can move forward if you need to – in peace.