A new start and a full heart: The Leo new moon as Mercury stations direct

Tonight Mercury in Cancer stations direct within an hour of the Leo new moon, and I’m struck by the synchronicity in my life of a new beginning after a sentimental trip through the past.

I never expected to return to high school for another four years.

These IDs show my first day as a 9th grader and my first day as a staff member 25 years later.

 
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Mercury is fast-moving, and when it appears to slow down and move backwards it can represent the principle that our mental processing, communication and even movement in general can sometimes benefit from contemplation, deliberation, and do-overs.

When I was in high school I didn’t fully know the cost my grandparents were absorbing to send us to Catholic school. I didn’t realize that my teachers were writing me college recommendations during precious weekends at home with their families. I didn’t understand how much of my family I carried with me and I definitely never knew which lunch table to join.

For four years as a staff member at St. Francis Prep, I saw caregivers dutifully pay tuition. I watched teachers schlep armfuls of college essays and recommendations. I heard stories about my Mom and saw my brother Ted’s photo greeting me as I walked in the building. I finally ate lunch at the same table with the same group of friends every day.

I used to be embarrassed about my high school self. I’ve never been to a reunion. But there’s something healing about meeting versions of yourself years later in the same place -- for me, bubbly, sincere students with toothy smiles and a certain physical clumsiness. Today I almost fell several times while carrying bags and flowers and balloons. But I wasn’t mortified or self-conscious. My friend and I just laughed. It’s a gift to release that unnecessary, high school shame in the very place I first picked it up like a backpack.

I’m heading from high school to college again. Tomorrow I start a job at Columbia University, and it feels so much like leaving home. I’ll carry the teaching of St. Francis with me, and this time I won’t be too embarrassed to ever come back.

New Moon Blessings to everyone, and a Happy end to this Mercury Retrograde. Do-overs are not always setbacks. I hope you can see the hope, blessings and love in your present situation, too.

A memorial stone on the pathway of our high school.

A memorial stone on the pathway of our high school.

Bye for now, Ted!

Bye for now, Ted!