Yesterday there was a Libra New Moon. The New Moon is a beginning. It’s customary to set intentions for the next 28 days until the next New Moon, as we go forward in hope. Libra is the sign of balance and relationship. If we just looked at that, it would be tempting to shroud ourselves in empty positivity. But this time, I’ve found myself unable to wish anyone a Happy New Moon.
This New Moon is unsettling. The sun and moon in Libra oppose Uranus in Aries. In an opposition we meet our other half. Sometimes it feels more “other” than “half.” Sometimes it’s more opponent than partner. Uranus itself symbolically makes things very uncomfortable. Uranus wants freedom and individuality. Aries is primed for a fight. Many of us are up against a sense of chaos, separation, or trauma we just can’t get around. How do we do this?
This is the fourth Libra New Moon to carry this theme in the past six years. Every two years we’ve faced this opposition: September 2011, October 2013, October 2015 and now today. Can you find any common threads in those times?
In September 2011 Lyndon started Pre-K. Lyndon has always hated school. But in those early years he REALLY hated it. I saw him adapt over time from loud sobs to a quiet resignation, as he walked zombie-like to face a day he already hated. I tried to point out any positives or guide him to the kids who seemed sweet and helpful. But a day in school was beyond his control, away from the people and things he loved. I still catch that look of despair on his face every now and then when he turns to wave goodbye to me one last time before disappearing into his school. I know he’ll be fine. He knows he won’t be. We’re both right.
Now I understand that anchorless feeling Lyndon’s always had about school. Uranus is transiting through my first house of Self and over my moon, and I don’t really know who I am. Some days I feel panicked. Sometimes I feel choked. I’m not facing any specific crisis. I’m just in that zombie phase, waiting for someone to tell me I can have a sick day or tomorrow’s the beginning of a very long break. I want out from this routine.
Aries and Uranus remind us about boundaries. They remind us that we have a right to exist and to make noise. Libra reminds us to take some things in stride and motivates us to achieve what’s fair and beautiful and to look for helpmates. This New Moon is about integrating both sides. Do we need the fight and individuality or the help and serenity?
After I drove Lyndon to school on Wednesday he sent me this text. He’s 10. And yet in some ways he’s guiding me through this transit. He asks me about my day. He thanks me when I share my feelings. His sweetness makes my heart ache. I catch myself give him the “You don’t understand” look that he always gave me. Sometimes I want to stay miserable. But he does understand, and the patience, love, coaching, and kindness I showed him all these years are coming back to me through him. Can I hear them, or do I always have to be in charge?
This month there is the symbolism of something we have to face alone along with the symbolism of peace and partnership. Can we reevaluate the terms of partnership in a way that fits our life and needs right now? Can we be honest about what’s not working for us? Can we let in creative solutions that will bring us more peace?
The screensaver on my phone is Lyndon’s Lion Friend, reminding me of both courage and comfort. Wishing you both as you start this New Moon cycle.